I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize