You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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