I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
