he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
