Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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