do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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