She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
