Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
