woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
