So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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