sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
