Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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