So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize