i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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