You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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