did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
