Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
