? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
