Say something about gay babies.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize