So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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