it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
