Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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