did you get engaged???
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
