The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All the doctor said was why
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