i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
