I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
