3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
