I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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