I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
