I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
