Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize