It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
