Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
