It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
