I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
