If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
