Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize