You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
