You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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