Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
