This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
