4 words: hood of his car
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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