i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
