What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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