dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
