Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
how does that bad decision feel?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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