A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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