Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
