bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Panties = found
Randomize
