yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
