He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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