Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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