We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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