I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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