Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
