also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
