Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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