Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize