Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
