don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
