Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
