I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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