i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
