You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
